On the internet, Building Relationships you can find serious advice that everyone knows is a joke. Thus, if you are a teacher, somebody during the lesson will probably suggest that the ALT + F4 key combination will turn on the full screen. In turn, if you are a novice driver, you will hear that pouring 2 kg of sugar into the tank is a great way to increase the calorific value of the fuel.
Then you laugh at it, because nobody really expects that there are people who will take it seriously. And guess what? There is a lot of advice that is told to people who are (or want to be) in relationships that deserve the same response. The difference, however, is that although they do not help anyone, YourLatinMates.com they are taken seriously. Are you ready? If so, here is a list of advice that harms relationships the most.
1. Suggesting that it is a great idea to intentionally make you jealous
The idea is that you smile at another guy, talk to him a bit, and rub your breasts against him when you go to the toilet. If your guy shows jealousy, it means he cares.
Logic? Same as pressing the elevator button several times, because then it will arrive faster.
In fact, jealousy can tell you many things , and love is only a small fraction of the possibility. Much more often it is a sign of problems with self-esteem, treating someone as property, or a lack of self-respect because you are with someone who plays such games.
On the other hand, not reacting doesn’t mean that someone doesn’t care. The range of dealing with emotions is exceptionally wide. In response to the same situation, some people will start crying, others will talk to themselves, others will be aggressive, and others will want to be left alone.
So deliberately making jealousy is a test of only one thing – whether you are mature enough to talk to someone, rather than resorting to games that are good for thirteen-year-olds.
Unless you’re thirteen. Then you are allowed, but I warn you that you will be ashamed of it.
2. Putting the relationship to the test
Usually people think that the relationship should be stronger than the arguments, interns and internships in the corporation, separations and shouting in anger, “I don’t want to see you anymore.”
Unfortunately, there are also people who come up with the idea to test it. Is it good idea?
Of course. More or less like putting your smartphone in front of you and hitting it with a hammer to see if it’s strong. Or like sabotaging your business to see if it can cope with YourLatinMates possible competitors’ actions. Or like hitting a wall with a car to see if the airbags work well.
Even if everything works as it should, by doing such things you don’t prove that it’s a nice relationship. At most, you prove that you don’t know that building relationships is about making them stronger, not about testing whether they are strong. The latter will be checked in the following years anyway, and it would be better if there were no holes in their walls then.
3. The claim that whoever fools around likes him
I don’t know if there is something that people do not value as little as what comes easy. We snort whenever we hear of someone unexpectedly and eminently gifted. Money that is earned lightly and quickly is associated with scams, financial pyramids and people who are sluts. Probably because, we hope that their streak will soon turn around. We even have a special saying for it – “easy come, easy go”. On the other hand, if you don’t want it “easy”, you have to sweat and tire yourself.
In this way, people think that if getting someone’s attention is complicated, it means that it is worthwhile. With that thought in mind, they’ll explain the other person’s puppy behavior to the fact that it’s actually fun. That it is a proof of emotion and that someone cares. That someone makes you suffer only enriches the relationship.
I’ll tell you something. If someone slaps you in a side street, that doesn’t mean they are your best friend. Likewise, if someone neglects you and does not treat you well, it does not mean that they “want well but don’t know how.”
Who’s getting around doesn’t mean they like you. Whoever’s fooling around doesn’t give a shit about you or is immature .
4. Believing it is about chasing a bunny – Building Relationships
This is a sentence that half of the women in the dating stage secretly believe. (An additional 25% admit it quite openly).
They think that if you don’t play union salsa (you know, one step forward, one step back) the guy will get bored of you right away and leave you.
The first bad news is that the best men have a low tolerance for bullshit.
The second bad news is you can’t run forever, and since chasing a bunny kept the guy’s attention, how would you keep him when he catches you?
5. The child will heal the relationship
When you are 15, you think to yourself that such ideas only happen in series, B movies and pathological neighborhoods. Later you grow up and you see couples that are clearly not working. If you went in there with a Geiger counter you would feel like a Chernobyl exclusion zone. You can bet with your friends whether they will last one more year or just six weeks. Nevertheless, by some miracle they announce that they will become parents.
You congratulate them, and they say: That’s a great message! And do you know how we get along now? It is divine! Just like at the very beginning!
I don’t even know whether to comment on it, but let it be. Humans are a bit like trains – they run on tracks made of their learned behaviors and problem-solving strategies. You can change the route, but it will not be easy. So if you’ve been going in opposite directions so far, 99.99% of you will still be doing it. Yes, you will engage in the role of father and mother. You will love this child like nothing else. You will also want the best for him. Only you don’t fix your relationship this way. You just build new relationships – this time with your baby, and that only distracts you from your relationship.
6. Opposites attract – Building Relationships
Stand in front of the mirror and tell me are you a magnet? If not, throw that sentence in the bin.
Sure, being with someone different from us is interesting, but you’re not someone for thrilling moments. You are with him every day. This means that if you differ in temperament, goals, habits, and all the cultural code that you are imbued with, it will not work.
This does not mean that people have to be the same in order to be with each other. It is even better that they are not, but still have more to connect than to divide them.
7. If you go to bed with someone too quickly, he will not respect you
Well, yes, because Polish cities are full of monuments to women who have waited three, five, ten (delete as appropriate) dates with sex.
By the way, I’ve always been intrigued by why this disrespect should only work for women. If sex is so important, then it should apply to men too, and meanwhile how many guys worry about going to bed with a girl on the first date and losing respect?
Is it not possible to finally accept that respect for someone is a matter of general value and not individual behavior? The rest of the natural and morally neutral?
8. Just be yourself – Building Relationships
I know what the source of this advice is. It is the observation that when someone cares too much, they get worse results. He stresses too much, loses his slack, tries too hard. Well, it’s true. Therefore, you will win much more by going on a date to the first pub on the border than by sprinkling rose petals on the pavement. In such situations, it’s better to assume that you represent what you represent and have the skills you have. With an additional effort you will not correct them, so you can only say to yourself: “There will be what will be.”
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Worse, the advice “Just be yourself” is most often told to people who, in order to have any chances of success, should first of all stop being themselves. In the sense of changing your behavior, not your identity and gender. If so far someone “being yourself” has not helped, then you have to accept that this is part of the problem and become yourself, but better. Find interests, learn to talk and present better, exercise empathy, start doing something ravishing.